Communicating can be exhausting...

Communication is a frequent topic of conversation in my home and work life. At work, I hear things like; "getting on the same page", "having a meeting of the minds", "level setting". Phrases like this provide some clues that communication at work is not an "accidental" byproduct of doing your job. At home, I hear things like; "this is the first time I've hear about that", "that's not what you said", "that's not what I said". These phrases indicate that communication is not a natural byproduct of doing my job at home either.

So... for now, this random thought is about communication as a critical skill in establishing and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships. Hmmm... "mutually beneficial relationships"... is that me - being politically correct? Nope. That's my way of saying, that I think, all of the participants in a relationship are getting something out of it. Not all participants get the same payoff; but they all get something. In fact, I have heard (from people for whom I have tremendous respect) that everyone gets exactly what they want from a relationship. And while someone might exhibit extreme wailing and gnashing of teeth; remaining in a relationship is a clear signal that a participants are getting what they want. But I digress...

Communication, OMG... just typing the word makes me clench up. I mean, communication is defined as the process of transferring information from a sender to a receiver using a medium that is understood by both sender and receiver. Sometimes I start out as a sender and end up as a receiver; and vice versa!

There are so many different kinds of communication. So many different options for communicating:

• the content (the message, subject, objective; the "thing" that needs to be communicated)
• the medium (the mechanism, vehicle, facility; the "thing" that will be used to communicate)

And then there are things like "non-verbal communication". Don't be fooled into thinking that this means gestures and body-language... I just read an article that poses the concept that my choice of hairstyle and clothing, as well as the furniture and accessories in my home, are all a form of non-verbal communication!

I shudder to think what message my eldest son is sending... you should see his room! And my husband... what is he saying with his acquisition and hoarding of possessions he does not use? What message is my daughter sending as she decks her body in designer accessories? What am I saying with my obsession for order - everything in its resting place when it is not being used?

What message am I sending to the people I care about? Am I sending the message that I am rigid and judgmental because my body is stiff when I sit for long periods? Did I carve in stone how things should be as evidenced by my unwillingness to hear someone else's thinking?

Kinda makes me want to hide in my room...

Everything Starts Somewhere

Including writing things down...